Help you, you helping helper.

I have recently re-discovered a small part of me, which I’m sure if you know me, I do well; that is to help others. 

I give myself, when I can, to help others smile a little, to enjoy life just a little more, I want to enable people to just smile, all the time.  I enjoy treating people, spoiling people around me, for just a little while.

It’s easy to forget oneself, when you are constantly busy, but this small part of me, I don’t even want to lose. 

I don’t even want to do anything for me, I can’t stand it, I rather do something for you.  I want to seek the path of the uncomfortable, I want to deal with stress, and make things right.  I love it, when I can make a difference, a small one, or a big one. 

Yet, I feel like Catullus, an ancient roman poet. 

   Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
   nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

            Carmen 85

 

This sounds right.

我又恨又愛

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Forget the…

I used to be more compassionate, not so much now.

I took that Briggs–Meyer test again, and perhaps I found myself in a more foul mood, as I tried to disseminate my results.  I failed, basically I scared the people in my fellowship small group.  I hope next week, I’ll get something more concrete, and perhaps trackback to God on this matter. 

If the moment that we find ourselves, we are actually lost.

The results, have confused me more often than not.  Everything that these tests propose, then to explain one part of me, as well as leaving me more engrossed in the wonder of the thought.  To that end, there is always a part of me, that never wants to share myself.  The test said so.  Anyway, I hope that compassion that I once held so dearly, comes back into my life.  I have grown cold and heartless when it comes to romance.  I see only the balance sheet, I don’t allow myself to get into things of this nature.  I have given up being the knight in shining armor, there’s no point. 

It’s easier to walk away from these feelings, than to deal with them.  Trust in God, and he shall provide.  I can be patient…

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A Lenovo Invasion…

My household, and my parent’s household, have been dedicated to the world of HP.  I have a HP DV4t and HP Mini 1000, little brother, has a HP DV2000t, father has a HP M9600t, mom owns a HP M9500t.  We also have a HP MediaSmart EX485.  I have a HP PhotoSmart 9150 and a OfficeJet 7310.  I have owned Presarios, Proliants, Pavilions, and other fun filled HP creations.  You can say, I live in an Hewlett-Packard family.  For the most part, I have been pretty happy with the computers as such.  Granted, my DV4, has quality issues, gaps in the case, and the glossy paint is coming off and chipping around the unit; I can safely say, these things aren’t meant to travel as much as I put it though.  100,000+ miles traveled, does not make for a good traveling companion.  I had a HP Compaq 6715, but that pathetic processors that were on it, just didn’t make it a positive experience. 

So it is to my sad regret, that I order a Lenovo ThinkPad T400 today.

T400

Of course, I’m sad that I couldn’t find a HP that would work the same way, with the durability that these things are proven to give.  Spec wise, I had to get some upgrades, so here they are:

Intel® Core™2 Duo T9600 (2.80 GHz, 6MB L2, 1600 MHz FSB)
Genuine Windows Vista Ultimate 64
14.1" WXGA+ (1440 X 900) TFT, w/ CFL Backlight and Camera
4GB PC3-8500 DDR3 SDRAM 1067MHz SODIMM Memory
250GB, 7200RPM Serial ATA 2.5"
DVD Recordable 8x Max Dual Layer Ultrabay Slim
Intel® WiFi Link 5300 (3×3 ABGN)
6 Cell Lithium Ion Battery (6.5 Hour Run Time)
Carrying Case, UltraNav (TrackPoint and TouchPad) with Fingerprint Reader
Bluetooth 2.0
AMD M82XT (ATI HD3470) with Switchable Graphics 256MB

So the damage is done, and I await for the new computer to show up. 

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Remembering a lost friend.

Losing a friend, is a hard thing to get over.  About 8 Years ago, I lost a dear friend of mine.  She was taken from us, it was hard then, and still hard now.  For a while, I laid a rose at her grave every so often, it was just hard to know that someone, a bright spot in this world, could just be taken away.  It was the first time, I seriously cried, and when I think about her, I can only say, I miss her.

I haven’t thought about her in a while, but driving past Acacia, it just hurts.  I know that her soul is watching down on us, her smile.

You left us too soon, I miss you girl. I’ll see you when I get there.

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Stinking FAIL.

I sometimes fail to understand the simple concept of, “finding time.”  This statement is a hypocritical one at best, if I were to review this week in particular, but as a whole, looking back at the last two years, the best indication of all this, is the fact that I haven’t taken more than a couple days off.  I had about 160+ hours of Paid Time Off (PTO/Vacation) saved up, until this change over, which I have none now.  It’s being cashed out.

So now, I need to make plans to spend time vacationing, and not work.

I just have to make time, until then, when it comes to vacations, I just FAIL.

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What to read my WORK personality profile?

My new job, has me doing a Strengths profile, which is displayed below.

Your Signature Themes

Many years of research conducted by The Gallup Organization suggest that the most effective people are those who understand their strengths and behaviors. These people are best able to develop strategies to meet and exceed the demands of their daily lives, their careers, and their families.

A review of the knowledge and skills you have acquired can provide a basic sense of your abilities, but an awareness and understanding of your natural talents will provide true insight into the core reasons behind your consistent successes.

Your Signature Themes report presents your five most dominant themes of talent, in the rank order revealed by your responses to StrengthsFinder. Of the 34 themes measured, these are your "top five."

Your Signature Themes are very important in maximizing the talents that lead to your successes. By focusing on your Signature Themes, separately and in combination, you can identify your talents, build them into strengths, and enjoy personal and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

Arranger

You are a conductor. When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, you enjoy managing all of the variables, aligning and realigning them until you are sure you have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible. In your mind there is nothing special about what you are doing. You are simply trying to figure out the best way to get things done. But others, lacking this theme, will be in awe of your ability. “How can you keep so many things in your head at once?” they will ask. “How can you stay so flexible, so willing to shelve well-laid plans in favor of some brand-new configuration that has just occurred to you?” But you cannot imagine behaving in any other way. You are a shining example of effective flexibility, whether you are changing travel schedules at the last minute because a better fare has popped up or mulling over just the right combination of people and resources to accomplish a new project. From the mundane to the complex, you are always looking for the perfect configuration. Of course, you are at your best in dynamic situations. Confronted with the unexpected, some complain that plans devised with such care cannot be changed, while others take refuge in the existing rules or procedures. You don’t do either. Instead, you jump into the confusion, devising new options, hunting for new paths of least resistance, and figuring out new partnerships—because, after all, there might just be a better way.

Achiever

Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day—workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Relator

Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people—in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends—but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk—you might be taken advantage of—but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.

Command

Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather, you know that confrontation is the first step toward resolution. Whereas others may avoid facing up to life’s unpleasantness, you feel compelled to present the facts or the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. You need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest. You push them to take risks. You may even intimidate them. And while some may resent this, labeling you opinionated, they often willingly hand you the reins. People are drawn toward those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have presence. You have Command.

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A trip to Irvine in April

I’m taking a trip to Irvine between April 5th and April 7th.

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Crazy Hotel Booking…

I book lots of things, I should be a travel agent… here are my bookings for this month, so far.

Hilton Ontario Airport
Ontario, CA
Fri, Mar 13, 2009 to Sat, Mar 14, 2009

Hilton Irvine/Orange County Airport
Irvine, CA
Sat, Mar 14, 2009 to Mon, Mar 16, 2009

Hilton Anaheim – DisneyLand
Anaheim, CA
Mon, Mar 16, 2009 to Wed, Mar 18, 2009

Hilton San Bernardino
San Bernardino, CA
Wed, Mar 18, 2009 to Fri, Mar 20, 2009

Hilton San Diego/Del Mar
Del Mar, CA
Fri, Mar 20, 2009 to Sun, Mar 22, 2009

Hilton San Bernardino
San Bernardino, CA
Sun, Mar 22, 2009 to Wed, Mar 25, 2009

Hilton Garden Inn Victorville
Victorville, CA
Wed, Mar 25, 2009 to Fri, Mar 27, 2009

Hilton Ontario Airport
Ontario, CA
Fri, Mar 27, 2009 to Sat, Mar 28, 2009

um… good times. =D

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Part of the List by Ne-Yo

Ne-Yo
Part Of The List

Songwriters: Harmon, Charles; Smith, Schaffer;

Style of your hair,
shape of your eyes and your nose,
the way you stare
As if you see, right through to my soul,

It’s your left hand and the way
that it’s not quite as big as your right,
the way you stand in the mirror
before we go out at night,

Our quiet time,
your beautiful mind,

They’re a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

The way you sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room,
(you leave a room)
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.
(all afternoon)

I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.
(my mind is where we meet)
and when I’m awake
staring at pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,
invading you space.

They’re a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

Oooh, and you’ll live in my memories forever more I swear.
And you’ll live in my memories forever more I swear.

They’re a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile, or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

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Netbooks

I wrote this email for a friend of mine, who was looking into netbooks; but I think it was worth putting into post.  I own a Mini 1000, which I absolutely love, in any case here is my post.

———–

Okay, netbooks. Basically, all netbooks are the same internally.  Currently all netbooks use the 1.6ghz Atom chip, known as the N270. They all run either Windows XP or Linux.  Some run Vista, but only HP sells one preloaded with Vista. The shape and size range greatly.

I personally have a HP Mini 1000.  It has a 10inch screen, and a keyboard of 92% of normal. It looks sleek, and has a clean look.  I know you mentioned that he would like to get 3G built in. You have to order laptops from the manufacture directly to get that pre-installed.  Ultimately, when if you are looking at a netbook, you have to feel comfortable with the size, and features; such as a need for a VGA port, an ExpressCard slot, memory card reader, extended battery, even location of the mouse buttons; larger physical drive, and screen size. 

I would recommend to anyone, the HP Mini 2140, which is considered a small business laptop.  It’s slightly larger than the bargain netbooks, but is has a very solid feel, and is much more capable than many of its competitors, such as DELL and Asus. It is however on the higher end of the cost spectrum, about 450-500. The only drawback with this laptop; is the lack, of 3G, but the ExpressCard slot easily accepts a Verizon/ATT/sprint card.  It has more upgrade options, and comes with vista as an OS option.

HP 2140: http://h10010.www1.hp.com/wwpc/us/en/sm/WF05a/321957-321957-64295-3841267-306995-3872994.html

If you are looking for something less, Dell Mini 9, is a good alternative, I have friends who use that one, it’s about 100-150 less, and can be built have build in 3G, but the screen is only 9in, and the keyboard is slightly smaller than a HP 1000, which I use.

———–

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